MOVIE REVIEW: The Tomb - Devil's Revenge

At the age of 89 Sir William Shatner is still rocking it out there, kind of. It did take him 33 minutes to appear in this film, but when he arrived it was a very entertaining scene, where he throws a tirade of abuse at his son about being a coward, ending with the immortal line ‘’I will blow your brains out over that horse’’. He’s only got a few scenes, although his name is above the title and it says a William Shatner film. He did not direct, write, produce, or even make the tea on this film, but he’s a living legend, so we go with it.

The actual man responsible for this low budget monstrosity is Jared Cohn, he has made up to 6 films a year, for the last decade. So to say he chucks them out would be about right. When we say monstrosity, it’s about monsters… and a curse, and what it means to be a man. All the ingredients for a cheap ‘n’ cheerful roller coaster ride, despite the inconsistencies of these type of ventures, and the awful CGI. It’s not quite Sharknado, but there is a scene that is up there in that kind of logic defying cinema. The main character, Bill’s son, is responsible for a friend’s death and we see his family drive through the funeral, as if they turned up by accident. They are certainly not dressed appropriately, and their main concern appears to be having the crowd disperse so they can drive on through. Head scratcher? Indeed.

Now, let’s backtrack. The opening scene gives us an idea of what kind of scenario we are in for. Like a low rent ‘Descent’ (Still this country’s most effective horror film), here we are straight into the caves, with dialogue such as ‘’Fuckin’ bitch ass motherfucker’’, followed by ‘’Hey, there’s no need for name calling!’’. That gives you an idea of where we are at, and it’s glorious, but only in spots. There are gore splatters, Shatner drops enough F-Bombs to keep any viewer happy, and the antagonists look like metal band Lordi turned up. That’s where the horror cabaret starts, and ends.

Put on your trash hats, don’t expect too much, and you could enjoy yourself. It needed more Shat, but he is fun when on the screen. The whole thing is nonsense, and if you are in the right mood you might just have a good time. Go ahead, raid this tomb.

5/10

Devil's Revenge is out 14th September on DVD and digital